Acknowledging Accusations in the Name of Devotion
Remember, O Tusum Khyenpa!
Remember, O Father Karma Pakshi!
Remember, O Tilopa!
Remember, O Naropa!
Remember, O Milarepa!
Remember, O Marpa Lotsawa!
When I remember your kindness and your power,
I am left in the midst of the dark-age dungeon.
When I taste your great bliss
It is as if for the first time,
As if no one had tasted honey before.
When I realize your devotion,
It makes me so lonely.
When I see and experience anything good and wonderful,
It reminds me of the Kagyu wisdom and what you have sacrificed for us.
When I put on good clothing or see an attractive maiden,
When I handle gold or diamond,
I feel great pain and love for your wisdom and exertion.
I can only cry,
Your beauty and exertion and footprints make me so sad and full of longing,
Because we are left behind, nowhere,
Unable even to see your footprints in the dust.
How could you do such a thing?
Any mark of elegance or imprint of goodness,
For that matter, anything wicked and raw, confused or destructive,
Anything we see makes us feel so sad.
We will cry after the Father Kagyu.
Whether we are attacked or praised,
We do not follow the conventional pattern of hope and fear.
Nonetheless, you left us alone.
We feel so sad and lonely.
We want to taste you, smell you--
Where are you?
We cry and we would like to threaten you and say:
Show us your true face, to help us never give up!
In this very bed, on this very cushion, in this very room--
If you don't show us your face and tell us,
We will perish in tears and dissolve in misery!
Please come and be with us.
At least look at us the way we are,
Which may not be the best you expect of us,
But we have the greatest devotion,
Beyond your preconceptions.
We will cry and shed our tears until our eyeballs drop in the sand dune
And we drown in the ocean of our tears.
O Knower of the Three Times, omniscient,
We have tried and practiced after your example:
Please don't give up.
When we iron our clothes, it is for you.
When we shine our shoes, it is for you.
When we wear jewelry, it is for you.
We do everything because of you;
We have no personal concern.
If we do not realize your dignity and wisdom,
May we rot and dissolve into dust.
We do everything for your sake and because of you.
We are so sad because of you.
We are so joyful because of you.
Father, if you have strength, this is the time to manifest.
I am about to die
And be reborn in crying and laughing at the same time.
Father, please have consideration for us.
We do not do anything for our own sake.
We do everything for the sake of devotion to you.