May 21 2010
Abu-Said Abil-Kheir – Though burning has become an old habit for this heart
[3] Though burning has become an old habit for this heart
by Abu-Said Abil-Kheir
English version by Vraje Abramian
Though burning has become an old habit for this heart,
I dare not think of Your company.
What would a moth mean
to the fire that burns worlds?
— from Nobody, Son of Nobody: Poems of Shaikh Abu-Saeed Abil-Kheir, Translated by Vraje Abramian
/ Photo by jurvetson /
It’s been too long since we’ve had a poem by Abu-Said Abil-Kheir…
This short poem suggests great intimacy with the Divine, but rather than using that as an excuse to feed the ego, he discovers profound humility instead.
Though burning has become an old habit for this heart…
This sounds like some wild poetic flourish of language, but he is actually saying something fairly specific. The heart aflame is an image that appears in the sacred language of many traditions.
In the state of deep spiritual communion, when the agitations of the mind are at rest and the attention is not seeking outward distractions, awareness tends to settle into the heart.
This is not to say that one is not aware of the outside world; rather, all of the world seems somehow gathered into the heart. It is as if the heart has expanded to encompass everything.
Simultaneously, there is often a sense of heat — filled with immense love — that permeates the body. There is the awareness of warmth, sometimes a blazing heat spreading across your chest and glowing in the palms of your hands. Often, there is also an unlocking of tension and warmth in the belly, as well.
This is the heart as experienced by a lover of God, the heart in fiery communion.
…So, when Abu-Said Abil-Kheir states that burning has become an “old habit” for this heart, he is quietly declaring that he regularly slips into this awareness of fiery closeness to the Eternal.
But, he immediately follows with:
I dare not think of Your company.
Traditionally, the burning heart is seen as one of the signs of intimacy with the Beloved, God’s closeness. And here’s the problem: The moment you find yourself thinking, ‘Wow! I feel the touch of the Eternal!” — at that moment it is gone.
In trying to grasp it, define it, and define yourself by it, it slips away.
This is what is oh so difficult about true sacred experience — it is not an experience at all. It is not something with boundaries that the memory can cling to and the will can reproduce for self-validation. It is not something that we turn on and off and on again. Rather, it is a perpetual state of being that we learn to participate in with awareness.
Try to define it, or praise yourself for it, begin to think of yourself as close to the Beloved, then the closeness eludes you. That’s the ego trying to slip in where it cannot go. The only way is utter humility and deep stillness. There can be no “you” claiming the experience.
Afterall, even in the most bliss-filled communion, you are not really doing anything at all. In the presence of flame, the ice cube simply melts, the moth can’t help but be consumed.
What would a moth mean
to the fire that burns worlds?
What is important is not one candled moth, but the fire it loves and gives itself to.
—
The sun is out today. I think I’ll step outside and feel its warmth upon my chest.
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Abu-Said Abil-Kheir
Turkmenistan (967 – 1049) Timeline |
Shaikh Abu-Said Abil-Kheir was one of the earlier Sufi poets. He lived more than two centuries before Jelaluddin Rumi yet, like Rumi, much of his mysticism follows a similar path of annihilation in divine Love.
Abu Said’s poetry ranges from the ecstatic and celestial, to struggles with abandonment. His poetry has an immediacy and even a sort of devoutly wry petulance that can draw comparisons with the great Bengali poet, Ramprasad.
Abu Said referred to himself as “Nobody, Son of Nobody,” to convey the mystic’s sense of having completely merged or disappeared into the Divine, leaving no trace of the ego behind.
He lived in Mayhana in what is modern day Turkmenistan, just north of Iran and Afghanistan in Central Asia.
More poetry by Abu-Said Abil-Kheir
Thank you, Ivan! The depth of your perception bowls me over, again and again. Jim
Deep deep Gratitude for today’s poem and the commentary Ivan.
Most of us rather than driven by the burning in the heart are driven by the insanity of the mind with miniscule experiences of awareness and strong proclamations of desire to meet the divine.
Strong agitation in human nature is due to this seperation and the helplessness due to being run by the habits and patterns of mind,being in the world of maya.
Here fits in the two previous poems when all one needs is supreme desire or sincere desire and attention attention attention.
Another thing that comes to my mind is with all due respect all thes mystics when immersed in the divine did’nt have to pay any bills in those days.
Prabhjot, the problem is not the bills, it is never the bills. Because if you surrender, in complete submission and in total cancellation of the ego, if you can thus surrender to the Divine, why, then the bills will be paid. As they were for Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, or for Ramana Maharishi. It is because of our half hearted approach, one leg in the material world and another vainly aspiring for the spiritual, that we think we need to pay our bills. It is said when Ramana stood outside the temple in Arunachalam, after an exhaustive journey thither, he was loath to enter without a bath. And lo! The rains came tumbling down! And it was the middle of summer. And not a cloud in sight. The world does conspire….
Chandrika
yes, that is so true. “What would a moth mean…?”
and it was last night that i was thinking of the moth who loves the burning fire..
thank you…
“Paying the bills” which is provoking responses today has gained a symbolic meaning when changed to “taxes”. Witches, guilty and innocent alike, could be seen as paying their taxes by going to the stake centuries ago. The picutre on this page reminds me of one, for she has indeed endured fire and has burnt, is burning still and is coming apart at a subtle angle I interpret as a sign of ambiguous identity. Victim, heroine and false prophet of future feminists, she in any case does not deserve her fate any more than the innocent moth. But fire is such a powerful image, leaving such a fast, short poem behind it, that the heart recoils from its experience in it at its mere suggestion to the mind. Ivan can analyze; me I get hyptotized, blinded by the light of an incomphrehensible element I will never be able to seize before it seizes me.
ah, mystics & bills. yes i can relate to this seeming paradox. comforting at least to know now that there’s a fool-proof method for determining one’s level of “surrender to the Divine”
Will someone explain what does it mean by surrender and then to the divine.these days am a little hazy.Can there be complete annihilation of ego.I usually have acceptance about lot of things in life even death,circumstances,suffering, in the name of accepting as the will of God and just deal with it,feel it.That i guess is just acceptane and i do see the divine in most people even the rude and arrogant and beleive they know not what they do.
All am concerned is to be a moth for it’s insanity or intensity to be burnt and fire i leave alone as it’s expanse is left best untouched.my delemma is the mind which ruffles stuff when not even needed.
As far as material aND spirtual is concerned there is no seperation it is only the attachment to either which is problem.
As far as bills which sparked some heat here a part of me was just being naughty with the mystics.
I love paying the bills and even taxes especiallay now if there are signs or effort of world becoming a better place.and would not love to retire to an ashram more than only certain amount of time.Real life amidst all action is challengeing and ofcourse constant touch with the swaying of the leaves.changing colors of sky during the day and being grounded.
i wrote a one-liner poem two years ago which am not so proud of but share…
Ego moves in it’s voluptious veil into a caravan of unbounded Self.
In this journey of the caravan of unbounded self or the desire for it one may have to constantly deal with the rapturous mind or ego and here Chandrika you could help me how to have total submission or surrender or how to be a moth.
Ah! Prabjot! Am having enough difficulty finding my own way, to be able to become a guide to another. Suffice it to say, that the journey itself is exhilarating and if you do not find a guru, probably life itself is one and will teach you submission, in due course. After all, our way forward is back to God, isn’t it?
“That which blocks your path is your boring self.”—Abu- Said Abil-Khair
The Movie House
The lights dim
Only the exit signs
Are illuminated
The preview
Of what’s to come
Ends The Lion roars
A searchlight sweeps
Across the darkness
A lady with a torch beckons
I sit rapt
Anticipating
A new release
A big guy sits down
In front and blocks
My view
“Hey, you, My boring self,
Yeah, you, down in front,
I can’t see through ya!”
copyright 2010 Amin Dawdy