May 31 2019

Leza Lowitz – Waiting

Published by at 8:24 am under Poetry

Waiting
by Leza Lowitz

You keep waiting for something to happen,
the thing that lifts you out of yourself,

catapults you into doing all the things you’ve put off
the great things you’re meant to do in your life,

but somehow never quite get to.
You keep waiting for the planets to shift

the new moon to bring news,
the universe to align, something to give.

Meanwhile, the pile of papers, the laundry, the dishes the job —
it all stacks up while you keep hoping

for some miracle to blast down upon you,
scattering the piles to the winds.

Sometimes you lie in bed, terrified of your life.
Sometimes you laugh at the privilege of waking.

But all the while, life goes on in its messy way.
And then you turn forty. Or fifty. Or sixty…

and some part of you realizes you are not alone
and you find signs of this in the animal kingdom —

when a snake sheds its skin its eyes glaze over,
it slinks under a rock, not wanting to be touched,

and when caterpillar turns to butterfly
if the pupa is brushed, it will die —

and when the bird taps its beak hungrily against the egg
it’s because the thing is too small, too small,

and it needs to break out.
And midlife walks you into that wisdom

that this is what transformation looks like —
the mess of it, the tapping at the walls of your life,

the yearning and writhing and pushing,
until one day, one day

you emerge from the wreck
embracing both the immense dawn

and the dusk of the body,
glistening, beautiful

just as you are.

— from Poems of Awakening: An International Anthology of Spiritual Poetry, Edited by Betsy Small


/ Image by geekounet /

It is part of my morning ritual, I shuffle to the sink and wash last night’s dishes by hand. I like the tactile quality of it, the warm soapy water on my hands, slowly watching the order of clean, neatly arranged dishes emerging from the mess. This is spiritual practice at midlife: a fifty year old man, hair sleep mussed, still in his bed clothes, doing the dishes.

I like the poet’s suggestion that the wisdom of midlife is not raging against the chaos and mess of life, but the interaction with it until we ourselves emerge transformed.

We stop expecting the mess to go away or somehow be made right. When I do the dishes in the morning, a whole new stack of dirty dishes have reappear with the next meal. Sometimes I’m convinced that my wife and I couldn’t possibly have created so many dirty dishes in such a short time, that hungry house hobbs have been secretly adding to the stack.

That’s the thing, life is about mess. The act of living and interacting with the world, with other people creates a certain amount of disorder. We don’t want to be utterly free of mess and chaos or even problems. They are the signs of life being lived. We make a mess. We clean up the mess. This is the natural rhythm of life.

until one day, one day

you emerge from the wreck
embracing both the immense dawn

and the dusk of the body,
glistening, beautiful

just as you are.

I love the way she contrasts the embrace of the dawn while also embracing the “dusk of the body.” Embracing dawn suggests to me that we recognize in ourselves something filled with new life, something vast and glowing. But there is also the increasingly sense of the fading of the body. Even if we remain healthy and strong as we grow older, maturity requires us to recognize that this body is limited and has a looming expiration date. And this is wisdom, the integration of these two truths.

Seeing both, at peace with both, we step into the present moment and come to know ourselves– “glistening, beautiful / just as you are.”

Have a beautiful day! Enjoy the mess. And enjoy cleaning it up again.


Recommended Books: Leza Lowitz

Poems of Awakening: An International Anthology of Spiritual Poetry Yoga Poems: Lines to Unfold By


Leza Lowitz, Leza Lowitz poetry, Secular or Eclectic poetry Leza Lowitz

US (1962 – )
Secular or Eclectic

More poetry by Leza Lowitz

4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Leza Lowitz – Waiting”

  1. Carol Burnson 31 May 2019 at 1:56 pm

    Beautiful poem Ivan. Thank you.

  2. mystic meanderingon 31 May 2019 at 3:30 pm

    I LOVE the poem! I can relate so much… So profound and *real*… I turn 70 in Oct and am going through just exactly what she says. Have been waiting for life to change so that I can live the life I was “intended” to live, according to my image of what that is of course, the meditative hermit, living quietly, unencumbered with life’s messiness… LOLOLOL My mother died in March and now I feel the pressure to live more fully before it’s too late for me… To actually *do* the things I’ve been putting off, in the twilight of my life. But I know I must also embrace the “ordinariness” of my life, just as it is, just as I am… Although I could do with a little less chaos 🙂 Thanks for posting this… I will now have the image of you in my mind schlepping to the kitchen to do the dishes :DDD

  3. Annaon 31 May 2019 at 11:07 pm

    Good selection, Ivan! And very timing…:)

    Congratulations!

    In latest days I felt such a peace within myself as well outside around me, like the current of life is flowing slowly and peacefully and all things are exactly as should be….

    Was contemplating about the whole transformation process years and years, waiting and waiting something different to happen and it really is happening, but NOT as we all are expected or believed.

    Probably shortly so far could describe it with two words: Peace and Acceptance.

    I am not very much in any religious doctrine, but remembered a very wise famous Serenity Prayer.

    The Serenity Prayer is the common name for a prayer,
    written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971).

    The best-known form is:

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

    Courage to change the things I can,

    And wisdom to know the difference.

    Epictetus, a famous Greek philosopher,
    was a genuine precursor of Serenity Prayer.

    Epictetus taught that philosophy is a way of life and not just a theoretical discipline.

    To Epictetus, all external events are beyond our control,
    we should accept calmly and dispassionately whatever happens.

    However, individuals are responsible for their own actions,
    which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline.

  4. CAROL BURNSon 01 Jun 2019 at 3:05 am

    Good morning, Ivan. I still love this poem, but your commentary and thought for the
    day are so good and meaningful. So good to put our minds in the reality places and
    be thankful. Just coming off two days without water due to tornadoes. We are fine
    now and people are working together to heal the damage – a blessing. Thank you for
    Poetry Chikhana and all the healing it offers!

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